My Transition To Minnesota

Hello, friends! Let me update you on my life! A lot has happened.

So, I've been in Minnesota for almost 7 months now. Living with my boyfriend, Mike, has been beyond-belief amazing. He's basically the perfect roommate. He's always pulling his weight, communicating his thoughts, being receptive to my own needs, AND we get to do all the love things. Score!! I've been warmly embraced into his circle of friends, and I've been slowly growing my yoga community. I've been feeling at home in the midwest, enjoying the snow and smell of winter that reminds me of my childhood in the Chicago suburbs. Mike has also been very very patient with me as I flip-flopped between applying to medical school or not.

You see, I moved here intending to take a single gap year to gain experience teaching yoga and working in the sciences to keep one foot in the door of medicine as I ponder the direction of my life. After a series of unfortunate/bizarre rejections from research and assistant jobs, I was discouraged... but then started taking it as a sign when my yoga gigs starting taking off. 

Within one month of living here, I got a job teaching the teachers of Hale Elementary through Yoga Bella. The studio owners and I clicked immediately. They enjoyed my teaching style, so after officially offering me the position, one of them contacted two other studio owners in the area and referred me. From there, I went to taraNa and Kula Yoga and got on their substitution list. I jumped at every opportunity to teach I could, blissed out of my mind at the abundant opportunities to share a gift that has changed me so much for the better. I started getting good reviews from students, and it wasn't long before I had my own weekly spot at Yoga Bella and Kula! In a twist of fate, Kula's studio manager was leaving right as I was moving in to our apartment nearby the studio, so I ended up filling that role. My apartment complex also has a yoga studio, so I started teaching there as well.

Within 3 months of teaching, I was suddenly making enough money to cover all my living expenses! In my 4th month, I started teaching at Northern Edge Chiropractic as well. A fellow teacher of mine even asked to meet up and learn how I got so many teaching gigs so quickly, so I wrote this guide up for her!  With such an exponential growth in my young yoga career, my mind began churning. Can I really make a living as a full-time yoga instructor?!

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I. Love. Teaching. 

I've always been a teacher, to my little brothers, my classmates, my pole dance students, and now my yoga students. Sharing knowledge, especially the empowering knowledge of finding health and happiness from within, makes me feel like rainbows and sparkles are having a dance party in my heart.  After my first few months, I began to dread the prospect of going to medical school where I was sure rainbows and sparkles go to die (Dramatic? Maybe not?)-- I didn't want to lose this light I felt within me and fear of this loss guided me in my next decision. 

I announced to my family that I was not going to apply to medical school. Needless to say, they flipped. You've worked so hard? Why would you throw that all away?! Do you really think you can support a family with that kind of income? MERRRRR!  

I started tuning out and avoiding conversations with them to bask in the bliss of my decision. I was in no mood to hear why I was wrong. A weight had been lifted and I had full faith that with time, I'd be able to find success, both spiritually and fiscally. This light needed nurturing and I wasn't about to let any darkness in. 

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In my 5th month of teaching, I was teaching 10-15 classes a week, depending on how many substitution jobs I had snagged. My weeks were filled with driving all over the place, sequencing classes, teaching various styles, fitting in time to manage Kula, and marketing. 

Marketing. Boyyyyy does that aspect of being a full-time teacher drive me insane! I love teaching my students and seeing the growth in my classes, but I was living paycheck to paycheck. I enjoy posting on Instagram--that's easy-- but once I decided I need to start saving money, I had to get creative. I started planning workshops, class series, and figuring out how to go online with my classes. I was not giving myself time to attend classes as a student, and I started spending a majority of my days hunched over a laptop figuring out logistics and creating flyers, descriptions, and schedules. 

One Monday (my big catch up day), I sat down with my breakfast to work on planning and marketing... and 8 hours later I was getting a call from Mike asking how my day went. WHAT?! How had the day gone by so quickly? I looked down at my to-do list and saw that I had barely finished anything... I looked at my web browser pulsing with 50 different tabs open, my desktop slathered with layers of documents and photos, and realized I had been multi-tasking to the point where everything was somewhat done, but I had no finished content to share. 

I broke down. 

I hated this. I hated that because of my complete reliance on yoga for income, that I was feeling pressured to produce a "product" that would be palatable to the masses. I hated that I was becoming riddled with anxiety over how receptive my posts were, how many likes I got, what I needed to do to get more interaction. I was no longer being inspired through being a student of yoga because I was skipping out on taking class or reading, and classes I taught begin to feel stale and repetitive to me. Is this just something I'll need to get used to if I want yoga to be my full-time job?

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I had a conversation with my aunt a few days later. She poured her logic into my head. If you love healing as a yoga teacher, imagine how much more you can accomplish as a doctor! The world needs more psychiatrists who embrace integrative medicine. You have to think long-term. With so much doubt and fear swirling in my heart, my brain processed the data and acknowledged the predicted benefits. I conceded-- I'd apply to medical school. 

Though my brain understood why I should apply, my heart was still not fully there yet. A part of me hoped that within the next year and a half before I'd enter medical school, I'd be able to launch my yoga career to unforeseen heights and It wouldn't make sense--even for my relatives-- for me to go back to school.

In a strange twist of fate, my heart embraced the decision to go to medical school through what I believed to be its opposite-- yoga.

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Last weekend I went to a yoga immersion weekend with Rod Stryker through Devanadi School of Yoga & Wellness. I felt and saw things I was skeptical about until this point and I tuned in majorly to my heart and meditated on what my Dharma (destiny) is. After an entire weekend of listening to my heart, connecting with the the light within, I came to the conclusion that my Dharma in this life, my way to utilize my unique passions and abilities that will optimally serve humanity, is to continue down my path towards being a pediatric psychiatrist who remembers and shares this light of love and clarity through yoga, meditation, and art. Being a doctor will not define me. I will not be placed in a box.

Duh. A lot of these "realizations" I had this weekend were ones I had before but had forgotten (Rod actually said once we reach a state of clarity, our next step is to work on our memory, because the world really does make us forget!).

I'm simply Cynthia, and I will continue to learn and grow to add to my Happiness Toolbox and share these gifts with others. I've got yoga, meditation, pole dance, freestyle dance, and writing/art in that box right now, but medication is definitely an important one of those tools! I've seen firsthand what a positive impact it can have when prescribed responsibly. This tool will also give me access to a wider population base and will open doors yet unseen. I'm so excited!! The fear I had previously seems almost laughable in this moment. How crazy is it that a yoga retreat could do that? This is seriously some magic stuff.

Of course, halfway through the weekend, my science-educated mind began wondering how much of this was just placebo effect... but Rod eased my concerns by challenging us, "Let's not ask ourselves if this is true. Let's ask ourselves if this is helpful." And by golly, absolutely everything from that weekend was helpful. And I know this can be helpful to many who might never seek spiritual growth on their own, but might be willing to try if prescribed by their doctor. 

After last weekend, I felt my light grow HUGE, Grinch-style. With my light bright and with my community of fellow lightworkers steadily growing, I am now fully confident that I will not lose faith. I now look to medical school with eagerness and gratitude. I see the brilliant opportunity to keep to my meditation and yoga practice rituals for grounding, to share the gifts that are already in my Happiness Toolbox with my peers, colleagues, patients, and eventually the world through my works. I see it all... and now I've got a big fat grin all up on my face! :D

I still have another year and a half before I'd enter medical school (I WILL GET IN. Self-fulfilling prophesy is so real!). In this time, I will continue teaching yoga classes, but also focus on building a strong daily routine and learning as much as I can so that the light within me can build as bright as possible before I go to school.  

I WILL SHINE ON!